In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor đź’€.
I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...
Wait, where are we again?
I only have 4 moods:
• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you
I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything
and don't forget the inevitable
• fuck it
and for those who have just given up
• fuck
This is beautiful.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
