Football jokes
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
Why can't Chinese people play football? They will eat the bat.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
VVD [is] better than Sergio Ramos.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
You caught a Penaldo!
Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.
Type: Ghost type.
Moves: Dive
Disappear in big games
Cry for pens
Statpad vs farmers
Sells underwear
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.