Football jokes
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!
And Sterling has taken a dive.
That's all for financial news, back to the football.
VVD [is] better than Sergio Ramos.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
You caught a Penaldo!
Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.
Type: Ghost type.
Moves: Dive
Disappear in big games
Cry for pens
Statpad vs farmers
Sells underwear
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.