Football jokes
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢
NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝
MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔
LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿
POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅
"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬
"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What is the Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.
Messi is really messy.
Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.
Why can't Chinese people play football? They will eat the bat.
Messi chiquito...
South's losing to Broncos. 😹
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!