Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
What's Penaldo's least favorite food?
Indian Murukku, because it reminds him of Morocco! 🤣🤣🤣
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What is the Mexicans favorite sports?
Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
