Football jokes
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
He's the best! Hehehehehehehhehehhehehhehehehheh.
You signed up for football, but you're no good.
What's Penaldo's least favorite food?
Indian Murukku, because it reminds him of Morocco! 🤣🤣🤣
When men watch football but not the women's version maybe there.
Why don’t Pakis play football? Because they only hold onto balls attached to prepubescent boys' cocks.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Arsenal
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
Community talk
I'm doing my second ever preformance tonight at our schools football game, I'm currently working on memorizing my music, in which has taken many mistakes.
js got back from football practice. Got a head tap.
I am on the high school football team the coach comes to talk to me are you dating my daughter Me No Coach There is a rummer that you are Me nah I am dating both your daughters and we are 7-10