Football jokes
Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world.
“The guy who tackles the Make-A-Wish kid!”
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
LewenGOALski
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Fuck the Green Bay Packers!
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Touch Down.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
what was sally's role in a football game? the football ;-;