Food

Food jokes

Memes

Vegetarian

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.

Relish

To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.

Nut

One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"

Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."

His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"

Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.

Pussy

What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.

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  • Mushroom

    A mushroom walked into a pub.

    He asked the bartender to give him a beer.

    The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."

    The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"

  • 1
  • Toaster

    Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?

    Oreo

    What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?

    An Oreo.

  • 0
  • Pool

    What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?

    Vegetable soup.

  • 1
  • Bill

    Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

    Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.

    Doctor

    Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.

    "Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.

    "Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"