Food jokes
My chocky milk, don't you touch my chocky milk! It's mine! No it's not! It's your face! Ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?
The life support cord.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."