Food

Food jokes

Gambler

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."

Breakfast

The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.

(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.

  • 1
  • Cow

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.

  • 5
  • Vegan

    The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"

  • 0
  • Nut

    A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

    Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

    Memes

    Octopus

    Why did the octopus cross the road?

    'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.

    Cow

    What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?

    Beef strokin' off.

    World hunger

    What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

    Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.

    Child

    Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

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  • Doctor

    "I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."

    "Will that cure me?" the patient asks.

    "Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."

    Robin

    More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.

    Priest

    What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"

    Oreo

    Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.

    Carrot

    My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...

    So I threw a carrot at her.

    Lion

    Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY πŸ₯ͺ?

    Because they like to EAT FLESH.