Food jokes
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
π« π π π€ π³ π¬ π π
π₯΄ πΊ πΊ πΊ πΊ πΊ πΊ πΊ
πΈπΈ πΈπΈ πΈπΈ πΈ πΈ π· π· π· π· π· π· π·π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄ π₯΄
π΄ π΄ π΄ π΄
Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? π€ͺ π
Memes
My boy best friend needs to have this app rn
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?
I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
What do oranges sweat?
Orange juice. ππβ€οΈ
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Where were the first French Fries π made?
In Greece.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.