Food jokes
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What's black and long?
- The line at KFC.
What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.