Food jokes
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
What is the cheapest meat?
"Deer balls," they're under a buck!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
You look like a burger.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?
At 9/11, the people in the Twin Towers ordered pizza. They asked for pepperoni, but instead got plane.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry!
(classic)
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
What do you call a boy Panera Bread?
Panera Balls.