Food jokes

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my face.

Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

Have you ever eaten African food?

What do you call a boy Panera Bread?

Panera Balls.

If you are what you eat,

why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.

I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.

When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

How did the cheetah greet other animals?

Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

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Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? 🤪 😜

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?

I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

How did the flight attendant want their burger?

Just plane!

Why's it called a Caesar Salad?

'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."

The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.

(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.