Food jokes
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.
I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.
Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Why did two 4s skip dinner? Because they already ate.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"