Food jokes
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.