Food jokes
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.