Food jokes
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16
Am I a guard or a guava?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean meat.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."