My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Food Jokes
Iโm going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Did you hear about the woman who put her husbandโs ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What is another word for a bagel? ๐ฅฏ
Jewish doughnut โก๏ธ ๐ฉ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ช ๐ช ๐ ๐ ๐
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. Iโve got a friend whoโs a dwarf...
...and heโs struggling to put food on the table.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
Orphans bake bread with what kind of flour?
Self-raising.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
