Food jokes

COVID-19 is like pasta.

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

What's Penaldo's least favorite food?

Indian Murukku, because it reminds him of Morocco! 🤣🤣🤣

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

What do strippers and butter have in common?

Both spread for bread.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because KFC was offering free seeds.

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?

Fast food.

What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?

Fruity Pebbles.

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

What is another word for a bagel? 🥯

Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖

What do sex and food have in common?

Grandma makes both better.

Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...

...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.