Food jokes

Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week. I picked the not so big businesses and places to do prank phone calls: Burger King, JCPenney's, and neighbors. I will tell you what I said.

Me: "Hello, this is... Zariana and I am from New York." Burger King staff: "Well we work in Florida." Me: "Good, now I want a large cake with some salad... with some eggnog... and some baby food." Burger King: "We don't serve any of that, ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go, please!" Burger King staff: "Sorry ma'am, we don't ha-" And I hung up on him right before he could say "have." Now JCPenney's ordering.

Me: "Hello, this is Trina from South Carolina." JCPenney's register: "Yes, what can I do for you, ma'am?" Me: "Excuse me?" JCPenney's register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with, ma'am." Me: "Sorry, I can't hear you... what!" JCPenney's register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER, MA'AM?" Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" JCPenney's register: "Ma'am, can you hear correctly?" Me: "YES, I CAN... NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" JCPenney's register: "No ma'am, I was just saying tha-" Hung up.

Next one was on my neighbors, Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you, but do you know what this word means: fhermkrekm?" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What, who is this?" Me: "Ummm... Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "So what does what word mean again?" Me: "fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on her now Mr. Morris.

Me: "Hola Sr. Morris, que pasa?" Mr. Morris: "Sorry, what, I don't speak Spanish!" Me: "Está bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used a translator app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil ... di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait, but what does tha-"

I bet you're wondering how I got these phone calls remembered, well I recorded them! I don't know how but I did. Btw not Spanish just learned really quickly.

haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.

Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?

Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.

What's the difference between an apple and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?

One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.

Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!

I can't stop thinking about those beans.

What's a priest's favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe.

What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??

Milkshake.

Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.

How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny.

Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!