What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Food Jokes
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
