In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Pizza Hut.
