Food jokes
What do you call a sandwich đ„Ș full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! đ
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I canât remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Memes
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A âBeanerSchnitzelâ!
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Whatâs the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why wouldnât Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Whatâs the hamburglerâs retarded cousin? Aspergler.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.