Food jokes
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.