Food jokes
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
What's green, red, and spins at 4000rpm?
A frog in a blender.
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
Like if you love food!
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.