Food jokes
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
I can't stop thinking about those beans.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
Why are grapes never alone?
Because they hang out in a bunch!
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.
I'm hungry.
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.