Food jokes
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
As an orphan, every bag of chips is family size.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!
You are a fat pig.
Stephen Hawking is intelligent.
He is not as green as he is cabbage.
Last last, now everybody go chop breakfast.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What did one angry cow say to another?
We got some beef.