Food jokes
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe... Breathe..."
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.