Food jokes
Orphans will eat toes for food.
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
Why were the people in 911 devastated?
They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!