Food jokes

What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."

You are a fat pig.

Did you hear about the famous pickle?

He was a big dill!

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?

A Kinder Joy.

As an orphan, every bag of chips is family size.

Stephen Hawking is intelligent.

He is not as green as he is cabbage.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Only one of them gets picked...

Last last, now everybody go chop breakfast.

Doctor: Congratulations!!!

Woman: Was it a successful delivery?

Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!

What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple got chosen.

Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?

Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.

If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?

Me: Hey, apple.

Apple: What?

Me: Knife.

Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

I do not know.

I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.