Food jokes
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Memes
Don't trust the caption! it's a kiwi...
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
I like pie.
You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.