Food jokes
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
What is the best part of a turkey? The drumstick!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans eat a big bag of crisps?
'Cause it's family size...?!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Their dad never came with it.
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.