Food jokes
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
What is a king's favorite sized candy? King-sized candy!
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Memes
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You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.
What do you get when you cut an onion?
Onion jizz.
Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.