Food jokes
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
You look like a burger.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry? He goes back "four" seconds!
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.