Food jokes
Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
He jizzes canned cheese.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.