Food jokes
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Haloomi."
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!