Food jokes

How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?

Stab it 23 times!

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?

"Haloomi."

What do you call onions and beans?

Tear gas.

When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!

Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?

Son: No, I got 1k already.

Mom: Wait, what, how?

Son: Mom's wallet is magic.

Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

Why did the dog go into the fire?

Because it wanted to be a hot dog!

An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.

What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?

Mario.

I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!

Why do cows have hooves?

Because they lactose!

Want to hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

Do you like fish sticks?

If you do, you're a gay fish.

Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!

My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?

What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?

A Royale with cancer.

Did you hear the rumors about butter?

Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.