Food jokes
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
Memes
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
What do you get when you cut an onion?
Onion jizz.
Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.