Food jokes
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.
What do you call a two-legged cow? Lean beef.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.