What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
Food Jokes
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
A brain eats cheddar cheese.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree.
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
What is long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
You're so ugly you make Happy Meals cry.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising.
