Food jokes
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
Memes
Why is this true?
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16