Food jokes
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why were the people in 911 devastated?
They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why can’t orphans eat big bags of chips?
Cause they're family size. ✌🏻😂🤣😅🥲
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why do Lebanese go to school? Tabouli!
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”