Food jokes
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
Le fishe
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.