Food jokes
Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.
Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."
Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.
It wasn't that funny.
So I just Snickered.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Have you ever eaten African food?
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.