Food jokes
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
OFF
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.