Food jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?
A: It gets pooped out of the bag.
Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"
Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.
Your mum eats cabbage.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
What flour do orphans use?
Self-raising flour.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Bread is racist.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"