Food jokes
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
What flour do orphans use?
Self-raising flour.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Bread is racist.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?