Food jokes
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.
Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?
A: It gets pooped out of the bag.
Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"
Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.
Your mum eats cabbage.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
What flour do orphans use?
Self-raising flour.