Food jokes
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
Eat my butt.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!