Food jokes
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?
A: On The Border.
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
Hi, my name is Crappy. I like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
My Butterfingers slipped.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
I like tacos more than you like tacos.
Who likes more tacos?
Mee! said the taco.
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.