Food jokes
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
When pigs went to the desert, they turned into bacon.
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's appealing!