Food jokes
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
I eat ass.
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."