Food jokes
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
Two cannibals were eating a clown when one looked at the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."