Food jokes
I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Potatoes
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
I don't want to taco about myself.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
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