Food jokes
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
A Krispy Kreme Mac.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!