Food jokes
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
Where do you take your pig to karate?
The pork chop class!
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frog's finger.
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.