Food jokes
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
When pigs went to the desert, they turned into bacon.
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's appealing!
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.