Food jokes
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Eating the wheelchair.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Potatoes
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.