Food jokes

Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!

Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?

Because your mother has diabetes.

Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?

I think it got lockjaw after that.

What's an egg's favorite phrase?

An eggspression.

When do eggs hatch?

At the CRACK of dawn!

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)

My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.

Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!

What goes in hard but comes out soft?

Gum.

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?

If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?

0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.

What does Stephen Hawking eat?

Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?

What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?

A meringue-atang.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?

Vegetables.

What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?

One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.

What's the difference between onions and babies?

I cry when I cut onions.

"I only eat food on the right of my plate."

"Are you good at eating?"

"I'm alright at eating."