In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought a donut was dough shaped like a nut.
What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?
A dumpling.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
Yo mama is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
Beef beef beef?
TRIPLE ANGUS POUNDER BURGER XDDDDDDDD
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!