Food jokes
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
They ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
Banana!
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
Q: Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
A: Because their dad is shopping for the milk.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.