Food jokes
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?
Raisin' her kids!
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.
Disappointing.
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled egg.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
As an orphan, every bag of chips is family size.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"
Eat cockroaches.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
I make baby mush.
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.