Food jokes
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.
Last last, now everybody go chop breakfast.
What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.