Food jokes
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
I ate Nemo.
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.
Last last, now everybody go chop breakfast.