Food jokes
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
Why did two 4s skip dinner? Because they already ate.
Avocado. Avocado deez nuts!
Dees was a squirrel who had big nuts.
Everybody loved dees big nuts.
What is long and black? The line at Popeyes.
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
Stephen Hawking is intelligent.
He is not as green as he is cabbage.
Why did the chicken nugget cross the road?
To get cooked by KFC.
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Their dad never came with the milk.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?
Raisin' her kids!
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.