Fitness jokes
Yo Mama so fat, she could fit you in her stomach.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.