First Time jokes
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
when she says its her first time by u feel the presence of the past dihs inside her
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
Community talk
this is the first time a post has gotten to 1000 comments since june or something
Random ass update for no fucking reason.... I'm going on a plane for the first time to go to South Carolina.
Have you ever wanted something that was so clear in your mind that you could taste it? You mean like human flesh? Eh, sort of It's a feeling like a rumbling in your gut that you could finally be faced with A billion needy faces I guess what I mean to say is, for the first time in my life I might have to be ready for this Ready to be the one who's leading from the front Gotta come into my own Gotta come into my throne… Read more