Firearm jokes
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
When one just isn't enough
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."