Finance jokes

Was he under insurance claim?

I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?

Why did the rapper go broke?

He kept dropping dimes.

What do you call a country's booty?

Its bottom line.

Why did the rapper visit the bank?

To get his RHYME CHECK.

"BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST."

What did the rapper say to the ATM?

"Show me the money, or I'll drop a BEAT!"

Why did the rapper become a mathematician?

To count his STACKS of CASH.

What has a head, a tail, but no body?

Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?

Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!

So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.

My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.

Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.

When the card declines on child insurance.

The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"

My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.

I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.

What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?

They both charge.

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."