Finance jokes

Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."

What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?

Johnny in debt.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.

One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.

If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?

Years of child support!

What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?

Getting the water bill.

I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.

Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?

Son: No, I got 1k already.

Mom: Wait, what, how?

Son: Mom's wallet is magic.

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

Why do elephants never get rich?

Because they work for peanuts!

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.

The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.

Are you free tomorrow?

No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

Why do orphans like Monopoly?

To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!