Finance jokes
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the party?
To count his STACKS of CASH!
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To withdraw some flow.
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
What do you call a rapper who can't afford jewelry?
"UNBLINGABLE"
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
How does a rapper keep their money safe?
In a RAP VAULT.