Finance jokes

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”

Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."

What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?

Getting the water bill.

If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?

Years of child support!

One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.

So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.

I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.

Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?

Son: No, I got 1k already.

Mom: Wait, what, how?

Son: Mom's wallet is magic.

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

Why do elephants never get rich?

Because they work for peanuts!

Why do orphans like Monopoly?

To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.

Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

Are you free tomorrow?

No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Hairline got repossessed.