If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
Finance Jokes
How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
What is a tree that does not exist?
A money tree.
Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹
That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the stonks are high, and so are you.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.
I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.
