Finance jokes
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."
Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"
"Give away my Money, No Papa,"
"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?
That don't make no cents.
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
What is a tree that does not exist?
A money tree.