Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
Finance Jokes
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
What’s long and black?
The line at the unemployment office.
When the card declines on child insurance.
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?
Tax credit.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Where do fishes keep their money?
In a riverbank.
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
I gun give money.
