Fiction Jokes

A Story:

I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

Sequel follows...

Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?

Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.

"I created the Human Torch."

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Dad: How was your trip to the park?

Daughter: It was good until the man came along.

Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?

Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...

Dad: Oh God, what next?

Daughter: Nothing, that was it.

Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!

The image shows a tweet by Sophie that says "I must study war so my sons can study business so their sons can study art so their sons can write gay vampire fiction". Below is another tweet from Populism Updates stating "12. Ulysses S. Grant's great-grandson, an author of gay vampire fiction" with an image of an older man wearing a bow tie and a striped jacket.

Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?

Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.

Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?

Palpatine: Renew it!

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.

Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.

Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."

What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.

What's Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?

Walking. JK, Rowling.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie with Batman?

Two family reunions!

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

I was Gandalf the Grey.

But now, after just three washes...

Why did Naruto run fast?

Because he tried to get away from himself.

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!