How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!!
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
Why did Naruto run fast?
Because he tried to get away from himself.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
I was Gandalf the Grey.
But now, after just three washes...
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
A riddle: My enemy is the Joker, I'm black and I help to save Gotham City. Who am I?
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
What is an orphans favorite movie?
“Spider-Man Homecoming”
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
