Felt Jokes

Why did the cow knock over johnny? Because the cow felt like to dumb

I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!

i always felt like a man trapped in a womans body. But then I was born.

But In my defense , I was young then and I had a womb without a view.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? - A: It just felt like it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

How did the skeleton know it was about to rain? "Because he felt it in his bones?" No He read the weather app you idiot.

I molested a child today and it felt quite lovely on my Penis 👍

Fill it out if u want

#THINGS I HAVE DONE PROJECT
O Been in Love
O Have Anxiety
O Broken Hearts
O Felt Insecure
O Been Ignored
O Been Embarrassed
O Stolen
O Lied
O Been Heartbroken
O Kissed
O Had a Boyfriend
O Had a Girlfriend
O Cheated
O Been Cheated On
O Had Sex
O Cried Myself to Sleep
O Stayed Up All Night
O Smiled
O Laughed
O Fake Smiled
O Been Verbally Abused
O Been Physically Abused
O Been Sexually Abused
O Hated Someone
O Hated Myself
O Gotten a Tattoo
O Gotten Piercings
O Traveled
O Been Stung
O Broken Bones
O Skipped School
O Want/Wanted to Die
O Been Depressed
O Binged
O Failed a Class
O Purged
O Starved
O Gotten All A's
O Gotten Suspended
O Gotten Expelled
O Been to Jail
O Been Cyber-bullied
O Been Bullied
O Been a Bully
O Have/Had Anorexia
O Have/Had Bulimia
O Cut Myself
O Burned Myself
O Drank
O Smoked
O Done Drugs
O Have/Had an Addiction
O One Month Clean
O Attempted Suicide
O Know Someone Who Has
O Lost Someone to Suicide
O Overdosed
O Hallucinated
O Been Hospitalized
O Seen a Therapist
O Told Your Parents
O Have Other Mental Disorders
O Have Other Medical Problems
O Take Meds
O Hide Scars wockalbin
O Have a Secret Account
O Relapsed
O Other Forms of Self-harm O Accepted Myself
@violetsunlight7

Read the name

Joke: it felt good going through those twin towers

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when i got out i noticed he was left for bread, i felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this

why did the roman eat pizza-he felt like it

1. If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting

10. Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya

12. Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented

why did the banana go to the doctor.because she felt peely😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

what is black and white and red all over? newspaper.😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

Son: mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me ?

Mom: no that's impossible

Son: but it is possible for your secret boyfriend right

Mom: no no please don't tell your dad i will make a strawberry cake for you

Son: daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake so because of that i felt jealous ^_^

👌😂😂😂

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

Yo mama so fat that when she looks in to a mirror it always shatters,because her weight could be felt all around

One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."

A man was walking home but felt tired so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap tap then out of the corner of his eye he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone the man said "you scared me I thought you were a ghost" the other person mumbled "they spelt my name wrong"

A girl in my class started barking and I yelled out "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her and I felt bad after school I asked to drive her home and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one I yelled " THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly I took one shot puffed through my pipe and jumped in the air on a trampoline I woke up in heaven. I asked an angel how did I die you? "Well little monkey you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head your mom called the doctor and doctor said you were dead.