Felt Jokes

How did I know where you would go next? Oh I felt it in my bones!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind yo f...ing buisnes like damn

2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor because he felt crummy

how did the skeleton know it was ganna rain. If you said he felt it in his bones, your wrong he watched the weather forcast.

The cashew called the peanut boring. The peanut felt very unsalted.

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know, I’ve only killed communists.”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a fiend trip u know why Parent signature:_________

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP....

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly I took one shot puffed through my pipe and jumped in the air on a trampoline I woke up in heaven. I asked an angel how did I die you? "Well little monkey you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head your mom called the doctor and doctor said you were dead.

One day little Jonnys is in class it is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid stand up." lIttle Jonny stood up. The teacher asked him why do you think you're stupid. Little Jonny said I don't think I am stupid. Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone.

I went home to & I saw my friend kissing my sister I say what’s going on. They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said alright. The next morning I see my friend kissing my mom I said what going here. They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift I’m your best friend. 2 gift I’m your new brother n law. 3 gift I’m your new stepfather. I felt so happy I had a friend that looking out for me.