I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
my gun is like my house used to be full now its empty
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up
If you were a food what would you be?
Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy
Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends
Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
What do michael jackson and santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids room with empty sacks.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low and the cliff was non existent and now you took the poison !"
The optimist think the glass is half full The pessimist think the glass is half empty The feminist think the glass is raping them
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage
What 7 letters do you say when you open he fridge and see it’s empty
o i c u r m t
Whybare there no pharmacies in Africa? Because you can't have medicine on a empty stomach.
Fatty told Skinyy "Do you have any food my stomach is empty and I haven't eaten" Skinny replied to Fatty "Well doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead"
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
technically, a human is hollow. we have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. we are bascially tubes
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Why do people hate abortion jokes? It leaves you with an empty feeling inside
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Q.what season can an orphan see their family tree? A.fall
if you dont get it in the fall trees have no leaves there jus empty branches like an orphans tree
