Felt

Felt jokes

Ice Cream

    • A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.

    When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.

    A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.

    The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.

  • 1
    • Felt memes

    Daddy

    • Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!

    Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?

    Child: I just felt like it.

    The next day, the Grandpa is dead.

    Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.

    Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.

    Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?

    Child: I just felt like it.

    The next day, the Grandma is dead.

    Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.

    Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!

    Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!

    Survives until tomorrow.

    Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*

    Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!

    (If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)

  • 0

    • Misunderstanding

    • Friend: I broke up with Sara.

    Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.

    Friend: How did her pussy feel?

    Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.

    Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!

    Felt memes

    Community talk

    • I HOPE YOU FEEL WHAT I FELT WHEN YOU SHATTERED MY SOUL, CAUSE YOU WERE CRUEL AND IM A FOOL SO, PLEASE LET ME GO!

    • Im just going to explain, or try to explain, how I feel, because I don't know what else to do before I fucking go insane.

    I met Jake about like 3-4 years ago. I was 11 or 12. I came on for the worst jokes ever because of my boyfriend at the time. I quickly became attached to the site, having a place where I could speak to my IRL friends during school, and I met some really cool people. One of these people was Jake. … Read more

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