Feet jokes
Send toe pics lol :)
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.
Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?
Because he forgot his feats!
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Toes for hoes.
I’m a short joke.
I’m only five feet tall 😞
Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet? They only have 4.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”