Feet jokes
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!