Feet jokes

A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"

Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.

Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye

How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?

You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.

Big feet equals mini meat.

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?

Because then, it would be a foot.

Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.

What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.

Oh, the monkeys in the trees, they dance and they play, Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, they chatter all day. Their tails so long, their hands so fine, they swing and they sway, In the trees, they're the kings of the fray.

Their antics bring joy, their laughter so free, They're a delight to watch, as they jump and they spree. Their mischief is contagious, their fun so true, They're a treasure, a gift to me and you.

Their little hands so deft, their feet so light, They swing through the trees, with grace and might. They're a wonder, a marvel to see, A precious gift, a treasure to me.