Feet

Feet jokes

Friend

    • Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

    Job loss

    • A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

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    • Feet memes

    Paper Towel

    • Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

    Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

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    • Baby

    • What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?

    Watching their expression change.

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    • Girlfriend

    • I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."

    Delta

    • What did Omnicron say to Delta?

    "Same race, bud, different evolution."

    "SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"

    Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.

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    • Nose

    • If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

    Password

    • 31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".

    When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

    32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.

    "See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.

    The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."

    "How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.

    "Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.

    33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.

    “I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.

    “I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.

    “I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”

    34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.

    “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”

    “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

    35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.

    36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."

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    • World Trade Center

    • "Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."

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